"Normal" againA bit scary to slip back into my new routine, no PET scans planned, no major events, no expectations...I'm beginning to understand now. These modern days, cancer is being managed as if it were not the deadliest scariest disease that has stricken humankind. "Managed" as if it were diabetes, I am told. "Managed" as if it were high cholesterol, hypertension or any of the other "manageable" lifestyle diseases.
Except of course it isn't a lifestyle disease, oh how I wish it were. How many times I have wished that I brought this upon myself and a strict regimen of diet, exercise and a harmless medication would be enough to "manage" and perhaps eradicate the disease. Nope, it is still cancer, it is still inside my body, a little over here, a little over there...invisible still, unpredictable still. Manageable, they tell me, a whole different kind of scary.
I started a new engraving, called The Promised Land, shows a few bumps on the road to the light, here is the block with my drawing and my arsenal of engraving tools.
|The promised land, an engraving in the works|
might as well make art while the energy level is low
Cycle 7So I'm managing my seventh cycle of palbociclib, the deadly poison that is killing the deadly disease. Aahhh, that's too depressing, let me try again: So I'm managing my seventh cycle of Don Quijote pills like the champ I am!
I know what to expect now. Nothing the first week. Curiously my blood values were just about normal before I started since I took that long (long!) two-week break from medication. I was proud of myself for rallying up my white blood cells to resemble any other 58 year old healthy woman out there. Second week brings a bit of fatigue and low blood counts, third week I'm just counting the days until the last pill so I can recover. I get the sniffles, sometimes a bit of a temperature, I sleep a lot! I still haven't had to shave my legs, a blessing, really, but my head hair seems to be healthy as ever.
Also curiously, the first bloodletting showed a bit less lowering of the values than previously. Oh there is hope. And eagerly awaiting my second bloodletting values, which will be posted on my account tomorrow sometime. I write them on my calendar now so I can see at a glance how my blood reacts to the poison. And of course, I wish upon the cancer cells the same fate as my Neutrophils, which are most horribly affected by the mysterious substance.
|Hazelnut, the cat in question, looking very guilty|
I gather my pill from the organizer box that I swore I would never use in my lifetime. This particular organizer box has 21 days in one color and 7 days in another color so I always know which day of the cycle I'm on. Also no fear of taking more than 21 pills and not "resting" the other 7 days.
Anyhow, I usually prepare dinner, go get my pills and set them on the table on my napkin. I forgot a fork so I went back to get one and when I got back to the table....AAAAAAGH!!! horror of horrors one of my cats had cracked the capsule open and yellow powder was spilled everywhere, including on her mouth fur.
The palbociclib pill says not to get it on your skin! skin! the damn cat ate half the capsule!!! Of course we rush her to the vet in a panic and put her through some horrific detox cycle which includes vomiting and charcoal and bloodletting and a night of observation.
Of course the stupid cat is okay but our wallets get hit with not only the $566 pill wasted but another $501 of vet bill. Bring her back in seven days for another blood count, yeah, that's going to happen...
Sheesh, will the fun never stop?!